Thread: Puff of Smoke
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godslillangell godslillangell is offline
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 06-28-2008, 01:33 AM
Very nice; descriptive; clear. Nice plotline

only one suggestion: in a few places, the paragraphs seem a bit choppy, although it does seem to give a timeframe for it all..I did this. then this. and this!

so overall, I say you have a good mastery of the English language. (=

be happy, liive brave!
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