[unknown_wanderer]

I am so sick of her. I feel like I should try and rekindle this "friendship" that we once had. We were really close. We were so close last year. I miss it. But it's not the same. I don't think it will ever be the same, and especially not in a positive way.

I'm sorry that you're jealous of me. I never meant to hurt you, but it's not MY FAULT. I did not mean for you to get my "sloppy seconds" as you crudely phrased it. Things just happened that way! It's not like I forced them to like you after liking me. I'm sorry the first guy hurt you badly. But wasn't I there to pick you back up?! Wasn't I there at your house while you were talking to him on AIM? Wasn't I the one who called my ex-boyfriend to present you the evidence? Then the second guy, I thought he was over me! How was I supposed to know that he was going to like you next?!

I know you resent me. It is obvious whenever I'm in the room with other people. You stare at me with daggers in your eyes thinking I don't notice. Well I do because you're a horrible actress. I know you better than you think I do. I am not sorry for being extroverted when you are extremely introverted. I am not sorry for laughing my ass off with people while you go and sit in the corner. I AM NOT YOUR BABYSITTER. This so called vision of "friendship" you have, is impossible to achieve! I didn't realize that being a friend also meant being a babysitter. Someone that has to pay attention to you every single moment to make sure you're being taken care of and that you're happy. To make sure that you're being included in every single event and that everyone around you is happy and wants to listen to your every word. Those expectations are UNREAL and impossible.

I cannot trust you anymore. You might think that's funny because you're the one that brought up my "lack of interest" in our "friendship" but I can't do this anymore! You have hounded me TWICE about it. I was patient and understanding the first time, but the second time, SHAME ON YOU. You thought everything was MY FAULT. A "friendship" goes both ways. Do I HAVE to walk over to you during class and say hi? What, are your legs stuck to the floor? Is it really that important for us to talk every single moment in between classes? It's like I have to be chained to you or else you're going to get all moody and irritable.

How can I act normal around you when you take the words and expressions I have, twist them to your liking and add them to your arsenal?! I don't want to have to guard myself around you. I don't want to have to be extra happy and chipper so that you won't attack me. Do you understand what that makes me? A complete and utter fake! How can we be "friends" when I have to act a certain away for you to be able to be happy?

I can't do this anymore. Even my friendships that have lasted since first grade don't expect this! Even the friendships that have lasted ONE year don't expect this from me! A friendship shouldn't be this hard.