Perfect Illusion

[temptd]

It was in these times of sadness,
That I realized what truly mattered.
It wasn't even that my heart was crumbling,
or the fact that my perfect life was shattering before my eyes.
No
Infact it was real you that was beginning to appear.
Your mask of deception was slowly slithering off,
and now I was seeing the reality of who you were.
You weren't even the man you appeared to be,
You were him when you wanted to be.
And every waking moment from then on,
I began to question what was ever real.
All those dreams we dreamt, and the perfect life we built,
was that a hoax too?
Or were those things once real?
Am I responsible for the monster you are today?
Did I turn you to this?

There are so many doubts, so many questions that remain unanswered.
My heart and my mind are fighting a war over you.
Infact they're fighting for you.
You've etched your name quite deeply into my weary heart, for life.
Every thought has you in it, every heartbeat speaks your name.
I think I'm drowning in your love.
But for once in my life I'm not afraid of drowning.

I can still say that I do Love You,
I'm just afraid you may not love me too.
I'm also afraid of losing you.
Never have I been so vulnerable.
Never have I been so happy to be this vulnerable.
If you only knew what you do to me,
If you only knew what you put me through.