Flammable When Wet

[NewClassic]

Caution: Flammable When Wet

I hate the rain.

A rift in my calm, blue, gorgeous day formed with the afternoon clouds. The sky thundered, and rain fell in sheets, and the wind blew the rain sideways. I looked at my cheap little umbrella, sighed theatrically, and turned away from the classroom window. The too-white building, which normally burned my eyes and hurt my head, was looking like heaven...

Or, at the very least, a haven from the rain.

I opened my umbrella, and stepped outside into the cold winds and colder rain. I turned my umbrella diagonally against the wind, and pushed forward outside. A gust of wind picked up, and I struggled to keep my umbrella upright. The wind picked up again, and pulled my umbrella off-angle. The rain pelted me in the face, and my umbrella turned inside out. “Crap!” I barked at no one in particular. My blouse was already absorbing water, and my hair was already starting to cling to my neck. I struggled to right my umbrella, fixed it again, and pushed forward against the wind and rain.

The campus grounds, normally giant and majestic, looked nearly as inviting as a POW camp. The building for my next class was a five-minute walk through this rain, but I had to make it. St. Anne's private school, called Annie's Privvy jokingly by most students, was an upper-crust, elite class high school. Because of that, gapingly large landscaping and architecturally rich building came standard. I hated it, because it also rained all the time.

The building that held my theater class loomed ahead, and I began to hurry, ready to get away from the wind, and the cold. I jogged toward the building, right when the wind picked up very suddenly. My umbrella caught the brunt of it, and it turned inside out. I squeaked, threw my umbrella aside, and sprinted into the building. When I got inside, I turned toward the outside and yelled, “What the hell!? What was that for?” I flicked the large, wooden door hard, and it bounced against door frame loudly once before closing with a slam. It echoed in the hall, and at least two teacher poked their heads out of their classrooms. I shrunk under their gaze, and shivered slightly in the air conditioned building. The “One-Minute-Warning” bell rang, and I knew class would be starting in less than a minute. I hurried down the hall toward my next class.

“Heya Rose.” I was greeted by a very tall, very happy guy. He was standing next to another obscenely tall guy, both wearing smiles that stick around after long laughing sessions. I turned to them both, and wondered if they are ever apart.

Probably not.

“Heya Fattso, Flatso. You two do the homework?”

“What homework?” and “Oh hell.” were the simultaneous replies. I laughed, and walked past them, dropping my backpack carelessly next to my desk. I turned back to them, and leaned against the teacher's table. “You guys are pathetic, you're going to fail this class.”

“Screw you,” said Flatso cheerily. “So what if I fail theater appreciation? Means I have to take the class over again.” He gestured when he spoke, leaning in my face while saying, “Oooooooo, spooky.”

“Screw you,” I replied cheerily, mocking smile on my face, “what about you, Fattso. You looking forward to failing this class?”

“Nope,” he said, absently, “don't mean I won't do it if Flatso beefs.”

“You should just move on with your life, save you from repeat classes,” I said, shooting a grin at Flatso, “and Flatso's stupidity.”

“Hey!” He shot up, leaning down to glare directly into my eyes. At 6' 1”, he really had to lean down. “And what about the grand empress Rose, you going to pass this class?”

“Hell no.” I told him, threading my hand through my rain-battered hair. “Unless I sleep with the teacher.” I thought about sleeping with Dr. Stevens, and shuddered. “Screw that, I'll take it again next semester.”

“Or,” I heard behind me, and felt a warm hand wrap around my shoulder, fingers caressing my neck, “you could sleep with me.” My friend, Annie Schmidt, slid in next to me, draping an arm across my shoulders, fingers playing with a strand of my hair. Her chest pressed against my side, and I knew where this was going. I leaned into her, brushing my lips against her cheek, “Hey sexy, missed you last night.” I scanned the room, half the guys were fidgeting in their seat, some “covertly” adjusting their pants. Annie turned her lips to my neck, and began laughing, completely muffled by my neck. It was so quiet, even I barely heard it. Most of the boys in the room were probably convinced she was necking me, judging from their stares. I let a contented smile play across my lips, and purred as loudly as I possibly could without being too over the top.

Flatso and Fattso, at this point, could hardly contain their laughter. They'd seen this routine before, but the rest of the class hadn't. The teacher, Dr. Stevens, cleared his throat very loudly. “Ladies.” He said, aloud, “as much as I'm sure the class would like to watch your public displays of affection, we have class to attend to.”

Anna turned her head away from my neck, back in control of her laughter, and smiled a wicked smile. “But teacher,” she began, getting up from her position next to me, “as you can clearly see, we were practicing our theatrics.” I revealed my neck, completely without marks, and we both fought to hold off our giggling. I gestured out into the class, “The audience certainly enjoyed it.”

“They did indeed.” Annie confirmed.

Dr. Stevens allowed himself a short smile, then quickly fell into his teacher role. “Okay ladies, you've made your point. Alas, we have Shakespear to perform. So, Annabelle, Rosa, to your desks please.”

“Yes sir,” Annie said, conceding defeat.

I was determined to hold the joke a little longer. I mimed a phone to my ear, and mouthed “Call me” to Annie. Flatso and Fattso laughed, along with two or three other boys in the class. I got to my desk, and sat down. Behind me, I heard one of the girls say “Ewww.”

That's the problem with this private school girls. Too upper-class to appreciate my shallow humor. “C'mon Lizzie-beth, you know you like watching.”

“Like, ewwww, Rosa. And don't call me that!”

I leaned back, resting my head flat on her desk, staring straight up at her. Her upside-down grimace was perfect. I blew a kiss at her and focused forward. Dr. Stevens was already on the E's of roll call.

“Elizabeth Edwards?”

“Here, professor.” Came the call from behind me.

“Rosa Emilia?”

I glanced up, covering a yawn, “Just Rose, Dr. Stevens. And here.”

“Duly noted, Ms. Emilia. Mark Evans?”

“Present, sir.” The boy in front of me looked about as bored as I was. I zoned out thinking of what I was going to do when I got home. By the time I cleared my house from the clouds, he was nearly at the end of the room. “Marcus Ryley?”

“Right here.”

“Annabelle Schmidt?”

“I'm here, sir. And just Annie, please.”

“No, Ms. Schmidt. Please don't interrupt the roll.” He was already calling the next name, but I let my head fall in my arms. I was passed out before he was done with the last names starting with T.

The bell jerked me awake, and I poked my head up slowly, and groggily. People were packing up their backpacks, and I leaned over, pantomiming the same. By the time I leaned back up, I had cleaned the sleep out of my eyes, and shouldered my backpack.

Behind me, two familiar hands slipped around my waist, laughter cutting into her sultry voice. “So, my lovely Rose, which bathroom should we do it in this time?”

I leaned my head into her shoulder, dramatic sigh on my lips, “But alas, no time. I must be off toward my home.”

“Aw,” she released her grasp on me, and we started walking toward the boys. “How was your beauty sleep?”

I smiled at her, “I didn't drool, did I?”

“You were during the notes on traditional Greek theater, but you stopped leaking right around Zeus's monologue in Prometheus Bound.”

“Now you're just jerking me, Zeus doesn't appear in Prometheus Bound.”

“Holy hell,” she told me, completely missing the irony of her statement, “you were actually paying attention?”

“Nope,” I said cheerfully, “read the Spark Notes. I have to pass the tests somehow.”

By this time, we were at the front of the classroom, Flatso blinked at me, “Why hadn't I thought of that?”

“It's the Y chromosome.” Annie told him, laughing, “makes you stupid.”

“I are not so C-A-T dumb that you talk like, Anna.” Fattso said, in a rare moment of humor.

“Well,” I told them, waving goodbye in passing, “I must be off. You ladies have fun.”

I turned just in time to see Flatso jab a finger into Fattso's arm, “See, told'ja your boobs are bigger than Anna's.”

“Oh shut up!” She shot back as I walked out of the door, missing the rest of the conversation.

Outside, the rain had stopped, but my blouse still felt damp. I bet I'm going to be sick as hell tomorrow morning. I looked around, and saw just the face I was hoping to see. “Hey Shelly.”

“Hey there, Rose. Ready to walk home?”

I grinned at her, saying loud enough for any of the boys in earshot, “Oh, fine. But I get to be on bottom this time. You're so cute when you jiggle.”

“Oh, stop that.” She told me, shying away from all of the sudden attention. “Come on, goober.”

“Whatever you say, Shelly.”

We walked in silence for a long time, I whistled as I walked , and basked in the glimpses of sun between the clouds. Most days, I complained about being a senior in high school, and not having my own car yet. But for the most part, I didn't mind it. Walking is nice, and it's a great way to unwind between school and home.

That is, it is normally. But instead, I was treated to the sky setting off another symphony of raindrops. The ground around me starting drumming to a raindrop rhythm, and I groped in my backpack for my umbrella.

Which I threw away back on campus. I turned to Shelly. “Please tell me you have your umbrella with you?”

“No, why?” The sky started falling harder, and I went from damp to soaked in less than a minute. I could hear thunder in the distance. My house was still a 10-minute walk away...

“Oh hell...”

[fruiity toooty]

I see you've been the critic around here, and yet no one's returned the favor, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

First off, it's nice to see some length around here. Longer may not be better in all cases and all of the stories here may be for fun, but part of the process of becoming a better writer is forcing yourself to write longer chapters.

There weren't many surefire mistakes. There were a few that made me think, "Huh, is that right? Maybe that's just my style, though," but a few that I'm pretty positive about are:

I hated it, because it also rained all the time.

This isn't such a big deal, because you probably mentally thought it out like that. Grammaticaly, though:

I hated it because it also rained all the time.

or

Because it rained all the time, I hated it.

It echoed in the hall, and at least two teacher

two teachers*

That was probably just a typo for you, but anyways.

The lack of spaces bugged me, I won't fib. As my teachers have told me, huge blocks of texts are somewhat intimidating, and it's also just nicer to see paragraphs divided clearly.

Also, the “What the hell!?" part. This is just a preference, but !? together seems somewhat immature. You don't have to avoid them, but it's just a suggestion.

I can't say much else except. I'm pretty bad at critiquing. That, and I can't much say about the plot since I don't see a definitive one yet (if this is meant to be more than a one-shot).

Other comments: I didn't really get into it. Flatso, Fattso, what? Girls groping each other to make the class giggle? Lots and lots of rain? Neat. So? Where to next?