Dream Journal

[John]

20 Jul. 2008

The room was bright; white walls all around. She was sitting next to me on the light-yellow-rice sofa, her eyes shining and full of life. Her hands crisscross around her waist. She wore a red t-shirt. Her legs up and on top of mines. We did not spoke, no words were needed in this atmosphere, we merely stared at each other. A grin dangled around her red lips and the glint in her eyes coveted a subliminal message which hints of good things later?

I felt that I can go on like this for hours if not days. Her posture, her lustrous smile and her watery eyes were all I ever yearn for at that specific moment. I’m in total bliss, as if God had suddenly granted the wish I had asked for since the dawn of my life. It is all here, in this room, on this sofa. This temptress beside me. I felt a tug deep rooted in my heart, I craved to hold her in my arms. At that moment, all the love songs in the word suddenly seem to be not enough to whisper to her.

Yet, I dare not to move, feared that the feeling would flee. We continue to look at each other, minutes passed like hours. “You know,” I said, words coming out of my mouth without the consent of my mind “I think that I have commitment problem” she arched eyebrows looked at me questionably “I don’t like being so close to a girl. Makes me uncomfortable.”

Her heavenly eyebrows frowned; her lips perched as she attempted to move her legs off of mines and I quickly hold her legs with both of my hands and said “Psychologically, not physically”. Her grin reappeared and at that moment and rolled her eyest, I suddenly realized that I had her legs in my hands. I could feel the smooth, silk-like skin under the jeans and my hearts kicked a beat.

Her eyes still peered at me, as If daring me to do something about it. Then my vision blurred as if under a spell and the only thing I heard was her whispering the words:

“I don’t know why, I always thought of you when I’m sad”

[John]

This was a scene in the dream which I had last night and the feeling of that specific scene lingers on my mind throughout the day.

It saddens me that the girl which I saw in the dream had long since vanished in my life. She had moved on and loved and hurt by some other and had lost the innocent and rather childish charm which I found so mesmerizing.

The last time I saw her was year ago, on MSN. She had lost alot of weight and though she was very pleased with it (as will many other girl), however I was troubled by it. She looked nothing like the girl whom I was attracted to.

Though throughout the two months of out courtship, I can't said that I love her, but she has left a mark in my heart. Seeing her like that deeply sadden me.

It is strange that she became the center of the dream, as I haven't thought about her in a long time. And this dream sort of brings my mind on her once again. I wonder how she is doing right one, if she is happy.

I really felt a "tug"