The Fine Print
 

I started this last night at 6 AM when I couldn't sleep. Call it inspiration via insomnia. I haven't revised yet (too tired), so forgive me for any boo boos. It started out as a poem, but I was unhappy with something so short, so it expanded to something larger.

Also, forgive me if it sucks. I haven't written anything in a bit, and I'm still stretching my muscles.

--

Prelude to a Girl Disillusioned

I saw your shadow
And away I ran.
Oh I now know
That all of this was your plan

Never did you tire
In the battle between loathing and love
Foolishly, I flew higher
Only to plummet like a crippled dove

You stalked and stood
Under brilliant skies,
And in forests of pungent, wet wood
Whispering, sweet, sweet lies

Like a puppet, I smiled
And repeated your lovely little guiles
In your arms, I was but a child
Unable to speak through acidic bile

Again, the gavel’s thunder roars;
I stand trial.
Myself I face once more
With your face smeared in my smile

Serene as wilted baby’s breathe,
I sentence myself to slow death.

--

May 28th, 2006
Two Weeks Before the Best End of the Year Pool Party Ever and Two Minutes Before Hell
7:01 PM

“Hello.” She was the vision of beauty, with strawberry blonde curls tumbling around her heart shaped head. Light streamed through my moth-bitten curtains and illuminated her gracious highlights. At her side was a thick suitcase; I wondered what she carried in there.

The most vivid, intense emerald eyes stared at me as she sat down comfortably on my misshapen, messy bed. I blinked uncomfortably under her powerful gaze and glanced away, embarrassed that she had to sit on my awful bed. It was a combination of pink, orange, blue, and red items—the result of being the youngest child in a family of seven. I always took random scraps from my various brothers and sisters.

“Hi,” I mumbled shyly. Suddenly, I felt very stupid and awkward in her presence.

“My name is Mia.”

“I know. I’m Madeline.” She smiled to reveal perfect, white teeth. I self-consciously licked my own, less sparkly and somewhat yellow teeth.

“I know. I have had my eye on your for a very long time.”

“R-really?”

“Yes.” Mia opened the leather suitcase at her side and pulled out a single document and red pen.

“What is that?”

She seemed devious. “You know what it is. Sign here, here, here, and here.” Delicately, Mia handed me the paper and pen with several red x’s printed in indication as to where I should scribble my name. I hesitated.

“Well, what are you waiting for,” she asked sweetly. Mia was so lovely.

“What’s all this stuff in small print?”

“Nothing important.”

“There’s an awful lot of it.”

“Nothing important, really.”

Squinting my brown eyes, I started to read the fine print, but the words seem to shrink under my scrutiny. “So, um, about this. This is just a one time deal, right?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be. It’s a fairly loose contract.”

“So—“

“Look, do you want what I’ve got to offer or not? I’ve got other customers to attend to.”

I thought about it—thought about my gorgeous sisters, about my best friend Lindsay, about stardom and potato chips. “Yes.” Firm on my decision, I quickly signed before I could back down.

Mia grabbed the paper and pen from me. “Excellent. As much as I would love to stay for your first time experience, I will be going now. You know what to do; it’s easy enough. It’s been a pleasure doing business.”

--

August 27th, 2006
Happy Birthday,
--Love Madness
1:05 AM

A deep frown weighed down my tired lips as I sank down to the floor, the whitewashed walls supporting my back. Today had been a great day, one full of giggles and fun; it was my birthday for crying out loud, and I was still thinking of pretty little Mia. The bright florescent lights of the bathroom refused my closed eyes peace, blinking harshly against my lids. My birthday was not supposed to happen like this.

The day had almost been perfect; I had gotten a new used car, and it was a wonderful gift, though a bit oxymoronic; my five brothers and sisters had actually been decent to me; Lindsay had introduced me to one of her friends, and we had hit it off. So why in God’s name could I not keep my mind off food after the final guest left? This was all wrong.

Mia and I were supposed to have a one night stand or maybe even just a short relationship at most. I had never expected it to last this long. Yesterday was supposed to be the last date, and the day before that, too. I called her to cut things off, but she always stayed waiting by my door—just like now.

Mia, Mia, Mia, Mia, my mistress that stalked every shadow.

“Why won’t you leave me alone?” I lashed out, and my eyes flew open, landing accusingly on her face. Oddly enough, it seemed to have shifted over the last few months. Wrinkles ran through her once smooth skin, which now also boasted a sickening yellow tint. The whites of her eyes were tinged pink with tiny blood vessels, as if she had been crying—but I knew the only one who had been crying was me.

Mia did not hesitate to stare back, and I was reminded of the day we first met. “Why don’t you leave me alone?” she replied calmly.

“You are so cruel,” I deadpanned.

“You are so cruel to yourself.”

“Damnit!” I roared, and rushed at her. I had her against the door, her rosy, limp hair brushing my arms. Its gentle touch reminded me of my own shedding hair that so often tickled my arms on their descent downwards. “I hate you!”

“Do you really now?” she drawled languidly. “No, I actually think you love me and quite passionately, might I add.”

Her apathetic manner infuriated me, but when I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my slender back and slim arms, I knew it was true. I was irrevocably, madly, and obsessively in love. “They say murder is a crime of passion,” I retorted, slamming the disturbing thoughts from my mind.

“Yes, Maddy, but who will be the one to die?”

--

June 14th, 2007
Best Friends Forever
2:57 PM

“Madeline, I want you to tell me the truth. Are you sick in any way at all?” my mother asked shakily, fearing my response. She looked so tired, as if she had been through hell and back twice.

“No, mother,” I said soberly. I was on my patched bed. It was where I spent all my time these days either sleeping or reading. My social life was nonexistent, and I found the clamor of my siblings unbearable these days.

“Madeline,” she paused, as if unsure of what to say. “I’ve been hearing rumors.” She moved slowly towards me, but I hardly noticed; in her vacated spot, Mia stood, grinning lopsidedly. “And, I just want to let you know that if there’s anything you want to tell me, I’ll listen.”

Mia, Mia, Mia, she was always here with me when no one else was. She mouthed words for me to say; I had become quite good at reading lips lately. “Do you believe everything you hear, mother? I’m fine.” And then I copied Mia’s smile.

Mother relaxed and smiled back. “I’m relieved. I keep telling people it’s just a phase, but they keep trying on insisting otherwise.”

“Oh, like who?”

“Well, Lindsay called the other day and said some awful things.” Ah, Lindsay—I can’t believe I had ever considered her a friend if she was willing to turn my own mother against me.

But a voice whispered to me, what if she’s just trying to help? I dismissed the thought; the whole month, I’d been better. I wasn’t stuffing myself nearly as much as before, and my visits to Mia’s realm became more infrequent. This time, Lindsay’s voice rang in my ears, “Your breakfast, lunch, and dinner consist of Oreos and milk. I’m worried about you, Madeline! Stop pushing me away.” My eyes stung at the memory of our blowout, and I turned over in the bed, unwilling to have my mother see.

“Could you leave me alone for a bit? I’m really tired from school. Close the door pelase.”

“Oh, of course dear, I should go and see what sort of trouble your brother is stirring up anyways.” I heard her soft footsteps trail away, but the door’s soft click never came. I glanced over my head to see what my mother was doing loitering at the doorway. Instead of her willowy figure, though, I saw my newest acquaintance Ana. Unsurprised, I welcomed her.

“Come in,” I said dully.

Mia waved at her. “ Hey girl, how’s it going?” Ana shrugged, but came in to stand next to Mia. Apparently, in this world, my world, everything was always a two for one deal.

I probably should have read the fine print.